So I had won another heart without a war and without losses. I set up my banner of love
in Salima"s heart. I set up a great power of love from Babat to Salima and from Matarak to Kashkirkishlak. To preserve this empire I was prepared to compromise even with Genghiskhan because being Salima"s son he disliked me.
It had been a week since the local Mullah Ikrom Khodzhi married us, and I began a genuine life with Salima.
Genghiskhan, for one, started leaving home without saying a word and returning drunk late in the evening.
As the father, I made up my mind to correct the fellow.
One fine evening I went to look for him asking young men about his whereabouts. They told me that he could be found in the district center near the restaurant with a cellar bar in the basement. I went to the district center and having found the bar went down the spiral stairs. On the walls of the bar there were pictures of naked women, dull-eyed vampires and hieroglyphic formulas painted in aerosol oil. A roaring sound of music came from the counter where the bartender was selling alcohol. Young people, wrapped in a shroud of smoke, were dancing in the pavilion. The air was saturated with the smell of alcohol, tobacco and perfume. I found Genghiskhan behind the bar where tables were set. He was sitting with a woman whose face was all in paint and putty. Her tits where the size of a man"s head. I walked up to them with a greeting but Ghengiskhan didn"t even look at me.
- Get up - I said - let"s go home.
Ghenghiskhan first stared at me in surprise and then burst out laughing with acidity:
"What"s up, man? Are you crazy? Why are you calling me? I"m not your son. You are not all there, are ye? Get out of here before you get killed. You want to be my father, I see.
- All right, you are not my son - I said - But have pity on your mom. She is worried about you. Come on, Ghenghiskhan, get up. Let"s go.
Presently, the woman with big tits interfered:
- What"s the matter, man? Why do you offend my boy-friend?
- Don"t pry, you slut - I said angrily.
All over sudden she got hold on my color with a loud cry.
- What did you say? Repeat it, did you say slut?!
I struck her with all my might. She rolled back and fell down and entangling in the table-cloth hit herself against the table.
Those in the bar rose from the tables while the cooks and the waiters were watching the scene from the kitchen. The musicians, too, cast glances at her but went on playing. The girl with big tits got up and threatened:
- Your days are counted now. If you are a real man, stay here. I will bring Bruce Lee! He will make cutlets from you.
- Go, go and bring your Brute Lee! You might as well bring along Schwarzenegger or Chuck Norris for that matter. I am not afraid - I said, so as not to appear faint-hearted in the eyes of Ghenghiskhan. But I shivered as I said it.
The woman with big tits disappeared. Ghengizkhan, shaking his head and laughing, said:
- Aren"t you sick and tired of this? Go away before too long. If you fall into the hands of
Bruce Lee, that will be the end of you! He is a Master of Sport in Kon Fu . Do you know what a Kon Fu is? It"s a bone breaking machine! A mill that grinds human bones into flour!
- We"ll go together, come on, get up - I said stubbornly, lifting him by his armpits.
He shook off my hands and shouted:
- Don"t touch me!
Then he started crying for some reason:
- I don"t need a father. Do you understand? Leave me alone! I have a father. He will come and stab you!
Then I told him:
- Come, come, don"t cry. Why are you crying like a girl? All right, when we get home I will leave the house for ever. Get up, will you? Let"s go home.
As I said this Genghiskhan stopped crying and looked at me as if I had come from another planet. But it was too late for he woman with big tits had brought Bruce Lee, a man with an Asian look, slant eyed and two meters tall. The woman said pointing at me:
- There"s the scoundrel. He"s insulted me!
The alleged Bruce Lee came up to me, lifted his leg, beat the air and started limbering up. The woman with huge tits continued setting her idol on me:
- Teach him a lesson, Bruce! Bang him on the pate! Show him what you can do! Hit the lame dog!
The false Bruce took off his kimono, girded himself with a belt and went on limbering up.
I was sure he would knock me down at a blow. And though I was scared, yet I could challenge my rival:
- Perhaps, we"d better go out? - I said calmly.
- Why not? - answered the false Bruce Lee just as calmly.
He stared at me, quite composed, like a butcher stares at the bull, or like an executioner stares at the man sentenced to death on the guillotine. His look made my blood run cold. We went out. People followed me looking at me with compassion. The musicians, keeping their eyes fixed on me, went on playing.
I started praying to God, like I had done back on the lake, secretly glancing over the sky:
"God, oh my God, do you hear me, please do me a favor. Help me once again. I have my young wife and my children at home, they are waiting for me".
I looked and saw the false Bruce Lee limber up again. Without stopping it he said:
- Say your prayer. In a few minutes you will go to heaven.
- Oh yeah - I answered.
He stopped limbering up and started waltzing around me and, like a mad gorilla, looking at me frowningly.
I thought I heard the heavenly singing of angels in the distance.
Suddenly, the false Bruce Lee slipped down on a water melon rind and, losing his balance, fell down striking his head against the concrete. I saw him lie motionless. I felt his pulse. He was alive. I thought he"d got а cranial trauma.
I thanked God, of course, and made my way back to the bar. I went downstairs and entered the hall. People were standing motionless there. The music slowed down and then faded. The musicians, instruments in hand, were looking at me. All guests, cooks and waiters also stood staring at me. The woman with tits as big as balls was struck. Genghiskhan was also staring at me with eyes wide open, unaware if it was a dream or reality.
I went up to him and said:
- Well, get up now and let"s go home. Genghiskhan took his raincoat and followed me. When we went out into the street we saw an ambulance car and medics loading Bruce Lee putting him on the stretcher. My rival"s servants also went to hospital. We took a taxi and went home. On the way Genghiskhan asked me:
- You"re a good fighter, man. Do you do karate? Where did you learn it?
- At Uvada Factory I answered.
He looked at me enviously and said:
- I should say I didn"t expect it. You should be sent to fight without rules! To knock out such a burly man within 10 minutes - incredible!
I smiled confusedly. Genghiskhan went on:
- Listen, will you teach me to fight?
- Yes, I replied -but you will have to give up drinking.
Genghiskhan agreed.
Kung fu or gongfu or gung fu (功夫, Pinyin: gōngfu) is a Chinese term often used by speakers of the English language to refer to Chinese martial arts. Its original meaning is somewhat different, referring to one's expertise in any skill, not necessarily martial.