THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE

   AGE       DRINK
    17         beer
    25         bourbon
    35         vodka
    48         double vodka
    66         Maalox


   AGE       SEDUCTION LINE
    17         My parents are away for the weekend.
    25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
    35         My fiancee is away for the weekend.
    48         My wife is away for the weekend.
    66         My second wife is dead.


   AGE       FAVOURITE SPORT
    17         sex
    25         sex
    35         sex
    48         sex
    66         napping


   AGE       DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
    17         "tongue"
    25         "breakfast"
    35         "She didn't set back my therapy."
    48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."
    66         "Got home alive."


   AGE       FAVOURITE FANTASY
    17         getting to third
    25         airplane sex
    35         menage a trois
    48         taking the company public
    66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave


   AGE       WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
    17         25
    25         35
    35         48
    48         66
    66         17


   AGE       IDEAL DATE
    17         Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
    25         "Split the check before we go back to my place"
    35         "Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas."
    48         "Just come over."
    66         "Just come over and cook."


 THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE

   AGE       DRINK
    17         Wine Coolers
    25         White wine
    35         Red wine
    48         Dom Perignon
    66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser


   AGE       EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
    17         Need to wash my hair
    25         Need to wash and condition my hair
    35         Need to color my hair
    48         Need to have Francois colour my hair
    66         Need to have Francois colour my wig


   AGE       FAVOURITE SPORT
    17         shopping
    25         shopping
    35         shopping
    48         shopping
    66         shopping


   AGE       DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
    17         "Burger King"
    25         "Free meal"
    35         "A diamond"
    48         "A bigger diamond"
    66         "Home Alone"


   AGE       FAVOURITE FANTASY
    17         tall, dark and handsome
    25         tall, dark and handsome with money
    35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
    48         a man with hair
    66         a man


   AGE       WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
    17         17
    25         25
    35         35
    48         48
    66         66


   AGE       IDEAL DATE
    17         He offers to pay
    25         He pays
    35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
    48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
    66         He can chew breakfast