Jim Sherman: другие произведения.

Hu'S On First

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  • Аннотация:
    Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

  _____
  
   (We take you now to the Oval Office.)
  _____
  
   George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
  
   Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader
  of China.
  
   George: Great. Lay it on me.
  
   Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
  
   George: That's what I want to know.
  
   Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
  
   George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
  
   Condi: Yes.
  
   George: I mean the fellow's name.
  
   Condi: Hu.
  
   George: The guy in China.
  
   Condi: Hu.
  
   George: The new leader of China.
  
   Condi: Hu.
  
   George: The Chinaman!
  
   Condi: Hu is leading China.
  
   George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
  
   Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
  
   George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
  
   Condi: That's the man's name.
  
   George: That's who's name?
  
   Condi: Yes.
  
   George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
  
   Condi: Yes, sir.
  
   George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
  
   Condi: That's correct.
  
   George: Then who is in China?
  
   Condi: Yes, sir.
  
   George: Yassir is in China?
  
   Condi: No, sir.
  
   George: Then who is?
  
   Condi: Yes, sir.
  
   George: Yassir?
  
   Condi: No, sir.
  
   George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
  
   Condi: Kofi?
  
   George: No, thanks.
  
   Condi: You want Kofi?
  
   George: No.
  
   Condi: You don't want Kofi.
  
   George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
  
   Condi: Yes, sir.
  
   George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
  
   Condi: Kofi?
  
   George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
  
   Condi: And call who?
  
   George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
  
   Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
  
   George: Will you stay out of China?!
  
   Condi: Yes, sir.
  
   George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
  
   Condi: Kofi.
  
   George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
  
   (Condi picks up the phone.)
  
   Condi: Rice, here.
   George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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