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Elementary Self-Improvement

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    Physical, Intellectual and Spiritual Self-Improvement: A Christian View


18 +

  
  
   This text has been translated from Russian by DeepSeek-V3, an AI language model.
  
  

Introduction

   Advice on self-improvement that I would give to myself at the beginning of my journey.
  
   I don't know if the thoughts expressed here will suit you. If you start implementing what's written into your own life-you do so at your own risk.
  
   First, I will present considerations on physical and intellectual development. After that, I will offer suggestions for spiritual growth. In the final part, I will give advice on acquiring useful habits and getting rid of harmful ones.
  
   Why is this even necessary? And what is this self-improvement-what's it all about?
  
   Perhaps it's worth noting right away that the article will also reflect a Christian perspective on life (in my own understanding).
  
   "Be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect".
  
   I draw your attention to the fact that further in the text, there are mentions of various works (books, etc.) that are not entirely or not at all Christian in nature, and some worldly advice is given. If the reader finds something inappropriate in them, it should only testify to the sinfulness and insufficient discernment of the author of the article and in no way can be attributed to God. God is light, and in Him, there is no darkness.
  
   By developing, you become better-intellectually, physically, spiritually. If you feel such a need, if you are dissatisfied with yourself, then this article is for you.
  
   The good news is that everything can be changed.
  
   Self-improvement is the constant betterment of oneself: acquiring new useful qualities, improving existing ones, and eliminating shortcomings.
  
   The "self" here is used in the sense that you independently determine the direction in which you want to move. But this journey can very well take place, say, within the framework of mastering a university program in your chosen field.
  
   The main thing is to start! And to have the willpower to continue.
  
   Consistency is key.
  
   Let me explain with the example of running.
  
   Even if it's just 100 meters, but consistently (naturally, with breaks for planned rest)! Compare your own results with your past ones, compete with yourself, and... keep moving forward. Even a snail can reach the top of Mount Fuji this way.
  
   You'll develop a habit; on average, it takes about 30 days. There's plenty of literature written about this psychological phenomenon-you can look it up-but I'll just note that it really works! If in the first days you have to push yourself, after a month, and especially after six months of regular running, it becomes uncomfortable not to run. You'll feel the urge to go outside just as you once felt the urge to lie on the couch.
  
   On the topic of it never being too late to start. In school, the author of these lines could do 8 pull-ups-that was my honest maximum. With age, the result decreased. At 25 I could barely do 5 pull-ups. But... after 30, I started regularly working out on pull-up bars and parallel bars. I remember the first time I tried to do a pull-over. I barely lifted my legs and barely flipped them over the bar. But gradually, over several years of regular training, I could do 20 pull-ups (maximum), though I usually do a set of 10 (almost effortlessly), easily perform a pull-over (my body practically flies up), an officer's exit, a muscle-up and a bar kip-up.
  
   Naturally, there was no talk of a two-arm exit on the day I first did a pull-over. Even a flag was hard for me (you just throw one arm over the bar)-a preparatory element for the exit.
  
   Why did I start with physical training? Patience, there will be advice on everything. But I want to emphasize that development should be comprehensive. Being a professor but a weakling somehow isn't great, right?
  
   A literary work that places the idea of self-improvement at its core is Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. Find it and read it!
  
   P.S. About Jonathan Livingston Seagull: it reflects a non-Christian perspective-what's wrong with it, try to figure it out yourself. But the picture of endless self-improvement painted in the story is beautiful.

On Physical Development

   Everyone sets their own goals based on their level of preparation. Right away, I want to make an important note. It's advisable to have a professional trainer lay the foundation, the base.
  
   Trying to build the structure of your athletic body on your own is roughly like trying to get a higher education at home without the help of a university. The goal is visible, but the path to it goes through a maze (even if you find the way on your own, you'll likely waste a lot of time on unnecessary detours).
  
   My own example. At 26, I started kickboxing at a sports club. We trained so hard that sweat poured like rivers-and this was after work. I trained for 2 years, as planned. After that, I signed up for sambo. I trained for a year. The base, including "stamina," was established. And only then did I dare to make some additions on my own.
  
   I have a whole plan: parkour, rock climbing, knife fighting, shooting firearms, American football (or rugby), swimming, aikido, and more.
  
   For now, at this stage, the author is focused on daily (except weekends) runs in the park and street workout (pull-up bars, parallel bars), plus elements from a boxing warm-up.
  
   What does this give? Good physical condition, confidence, health (I almost never get sick), attractiveness (great girls much younger than me are interested in me-and not because of money, sometimes they even take the initiative themselves). I repeat, all of this is the fruit of constant, systematic effort over many years. Move at your own pace, don't compete with others-look back only at your own path.
  
   Physical activity can become a pleasant pastime. The same run at your own pace will create a feeling of relaxation, lightness of thought, and improve your mood. Yes, yes, when you're just starting out-it's a struggle. I remember it well: in school, after 3 kilometers in PE, I couldn't take a full breath; 6 kilometers in university-a record, barely, a classmate even threw up. But one winter, I met a girl who was a runner. We ran four laps, each one and a half kilometers, chatting, at sub-zero temperatures, almost effortlessly. "Well, how about one more?" As with everything-first you invest, and only then do you get the payoff.
  
   Oh, yes... I almost forgot. Hardening. Gradually, without fanaticism. Start simply by wiping yourself down with cold water in the bathroom. After some time, you can pour a basin of cold water over yourself (and immediately dry off with a towel-plus intense "movement" right after for about a minute: running in place and the like). And only after such preparation-a cold shower every morning. Or better yet, a contrast shower (hot, cold, hot again-you can alternate a few times, the duration of the pours and the number of repetitions depend on how you feel). That's it, you've established the habit, do it consistently.
  
   Strelnikova's breathing exercises-I recommend them! I personally do them even in freezing temperatures (but this isn't for everyone-it's easy to catch a cold). By the way, running through snowdrifts, like in the movie Rocky. After hardening, winter physical activity becomes accessible. I even deliberately dress lighter to feel it better. The same pull-up bars, running, parallel bars. It's great!
  
   Jump rope exercises (strengthen the cardiovascular system, increase endurance, develop agility, coordination).
  
   Handstands, headstands.
  
   Needless to say, everything should be done wisely? Read up on running technique beforehand (how to place your foot correctly, etc.), choose good shoes to avoid harming yourself, and so on. There's plenty of material on the topic online.
  
   From my own experience: it's better to run on dirt paths or trails with special surfaces-less stress on the joints and spine (compared to asphalt). Naturally, I recommend doing this away from cars, for example, in a park.
  
   An alternative to running-cycling. But here, too, you need to familiarize yourself with the proper riding technique beforehand-adjust the saddle height correctly, and so on.
  
   Those who enjoy company can find like-minded people: if you live in a big city, there's likely a running community or cycling club, and joint runs or rides are organized (usually participants coordinate online). Mass events are also organized at a higher level-various races, including marathons.
  
   But there's also charm in individual runs or bike rides. It's an opportunity to be alone with yourself, with your own thoughts.
  
   What I don't recommend-excessive enthusiasm for the gym. I strongly advise against any bodybuilding food supplements (so-called protein).
  
   Of course, some basics are acceptable (even desirable). Guys should be able to do some bench presses and the like (though there's no need to chase weight). There are special exercises-shadowboxing with dumbbells for boxers.
  
   But overall, in my subjective opinion, the advertised muscular body of a bodybuilder-is unnatural and impractical. Maybe it's the long-standing rivalry between workout enthusiasts and bodybuilders speaking in me.

On Intellectual Development

   The primary task is to learn to think independently.
  
   I recommend reading E. Dimnet's book The Art of Thinking. Several times-that's the main advice I can give.
  
   I was lucky with my literature teacher. For example, she forbade reading critical articles, and in essays, we were only allowed to express our own thoughts. Even if it was nonsense, it was our own (at first it's nonsense, but later it gets better).
  
   Logic. I don't know how it is in today's school curriculum, but for some reason, we didn't have it. Any textbook-and go ahead, fill in the gaps. Besides classical (Aristotelian) logic, there's something called informal logic. A good course is available for free on Coursera from Duke University. Very useful stuff: they teach you to see logical laws, errors in live discourse, real-life examples.
  
   What else? Here, as with "physical development," everyone has their own level. And you can develop endlessly.
  
   I can recommend:
  
  • Chess (not just playing, but taking a course, solving puzzles, learning to play blindfolded - Чернышов К.В. "Тайны видения шахматной доски и расчета вариантов");
  
  • Go;
  
  • Sudoku;
  
  • Books on intellectual development (А. Могучий "Тренажер для мозга. Методики агентов спецслужб - развитие интеллекта, памяти и внимания", Брилева Ю.В. "Суперинтеллект. Практикум по развитию IQ", Д. Букин "Развитие памяти по методикам спецслужб", etc.);
  
  • Computer games: strategy games (series like Civilization, Anno, Blitzkrieg, Europa Universalis, etc.), quests (The Black Mirror, etc.), RPGs (Fallout 2-to say that it develops managerial skills would be stretching it, but the game presents a series of ethical dilemmas, which is why I recommend it), and even GTA, Penumbra, etc. (for developing spatial thinking, etc.).
  
   I'd like to separately mention a 3D version of Tetris.
  
   Warning: addiction is possible! Plus, almost any computer game is a time sink (to get the same amount of information from a book or movie, it takes much less time).
  
   Here, I feel it's necessary to insert a remark about possible moral deviations, the reflection of the ugly side of life in works (be it a computer game, book, or movie). The choice in favor of good must be conscious, and for that, you need to know the alternative (this is how not to act!). If you simply put rose-colored glasses on someone, they won't be able to make an independent decision in principle. Will the result of such moral purity be stable, and won't the happy user of a moral filter run off to various sects, criminal groups, etc., if for some reason the protective screen suddenly turns off? At the same time, we didn't find our brain in a dumpster-some self-censorship against extremes should exist (but the line for adults is probably different for everyone, depending on internal stability);
  
  • Read everything you can from Russian classics. And even if it's incomprehensible and uninteresting-force yourself. M.Y. Lermontov, A.S. Pushkin, L.N. Tolstoy, F.M. Dostoevsky, A.S. Griboyedov, N.V. Gogol, I.S. Turgenev, etc.
  
   I'll stop and explain in more detail why this is necessary.
  
   You expand your horizons, vocabulary, improve your ability to express thoughts in detail, and understand long sentences.
  
   Moreover, reading classics simply ennobles.
  
   In 10th grade, the author of these lines tackled Dostoevsky's Demons. You start reading a monologue or a line in a dialogue-you lose the thread, forget where it all started! Lots of unfamiliar words (be sure to look them up in a dictionary-Dal, etc.). But, that's school. Later, everything gets easier. And if you don't go through it, you'll remain underdeveloped.
  
   You'll develop literary taste, start appreciating complex things. Even if you don't reread Crime and Punishment for pleasure, something like Stephen King (the tedious life stories that fill his works, not just the "gore": when will he finally get to it?!) will come easily, maybe even seem primitive.
  
   You'll start understanding serious movies, etc. (you'll likely not be called a schoolboy raised on Marvel movies in online forums).
  
   When reading fiction, try to visualize all the author's descriptions of the setting and characters (load your brain to the max);
  
  • Learning foreign languages (at least one at a decent level)-among other things, this gives access to foreign information resources (if we're talking about English, I personally feel that educational products in English are much clearer than ours (instructors strive to explain everything, which authors of domestic courses often ignore) and at the same time of higher quality).
  
   If you have time, it's recommended to learn several languages (in my opinion, four, excluding your native language, is optimal);
  
  • Develop your written (essays and summaries will come in handy here) and spoken language (choose any rhetoric course, from self-study books - А. Кукушкин "Вокруг риторики за 365 дней. Упражнения для развития речи");
  
  • Read Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermott's The Art of Systems Thinking: Essential Skills for Creativity and Problem Solving;
  
  • M. Kistler's You Can Draw in 30 Days: The Fun, Easy Way to Learn to Draw in One Month or Less;
  
  • Л.Н. Скрягин "Морские узлы" (a book on maritime knots);
  
  • Learn to play poker, preference, bridge, euchre.
  
   There's a widespread opinion that card games are not quite, shall we say, a Christian activity, and people find, it seems, baseless, almost blasphemous symbolism in them. In my opinion, it's just a tool-if you use it without passion, don't make it an idol, don't assign any occult meaning to the images on the cards (crudely put, diamonds are just a red square for you), then it's quite acceptable. In the end, you can print cards with your own suits. In any case, don't get too carried away-learn it and move on.
  
   And remember gambling addiction-it's comparable to drug addiction, so don't acquire it. People even seek treatment for it in clinics;
  
  • Mafia-the cards are just used to identify players, the game itself is psychological;
  
  • Billiards (considering the above remark; it can also be classified under physical skills);
  
  • The LSAT Trainer by Mike Kim (it presents and analyzes very interesting logic puzzles, used in preparation for the LSAT exam for entering U.S. law schools);
  
  • Barry J. Nalebuff and Avinash Dixit's The Art of Strategy: A Game Theorist's Guide to Success in Business and Life;
  
  • Start listening to classical music;
  
  • And so on.
  
   The most important thing. I recommend getting a higher education. That's also a foundation (you can compare it to training with a professional coach in sports).

On Spiritual Development

   Let's choose Christianity. There's no need to search for some secret knowledge or try to comprehend esoteric teachings.
  
   Next, we'll talk about holiness. Right away, I'll clarify that I'll present my own perspective, which may differ from the generally accepted one.
  
   In the Bible, there's a phrase: "Be holy, for I am holy."
  
   Among Christians today, there are two main approaches to understanding this. I'll try to describe them in a simplified way.
  
   The first. Achieving holiness can take a lifetime (the main factors: personal effort and divine grace). We only know for sure about the chosen few who have definitely succeeded - we call them saints. The entire life of an ordinary Christian is a series of ups and downs in the struggle with their own shortcomings. "The Church is not a gathering of saints, but a crowd of repentant sinners" (E. Siren). One must go to monasteries, withdraw from the world, and through asceticism and other monastic practices strive to approach holiness.
  
   The second. You are already holy. It's enough to undergo baptism, regularly confess, and take communion - and everything will be fine. No special personal effort is required.
  
   Perhaps this isn't very modest, but since this is my article, I'll risk expressing my own opinion.
  
   A person can be compared to a living room (or a house). If the room is filthy, in disarray, it's visible. Or it's bright, clean, tidy - that's also noticeable. Naturally, even after cleaning, dust may remain (somewhere under the cabinet). The problem is that cleanliness is an indefinite concept. But, guided by common sense, we can always judge whether a room is clean or not. This is all achievable. You just need to clean regularly and not make a mess. You'll develop a habit of cleanliness. Although at first, it may be very hard for slobs. There's no need to sit all week with cigarette butts on the floor and clean up only occasionally (once a month, a year, on holidays). Naturally, with God's help (you need to pray to God for healing from the spiritual illness that is sin, especially when your own strength isn't enough-God can do anything).
  
   A normal situation is when all this is constantly observed. And this is entirely achievable-we use the power of habit. Excess, violation of order - is sin, not the other way around (constant falls - the norm, and cleanliness only on holidays; that's wrong).
  
   "If your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you." This is what we, as Christians, should strive for.
  
   Holiness has degrees. "There is no one holy like the Lord..."
  
   In general, I've touched on the ancient question of the necessity of personal holiness for Christians. Well, and I'll use proof by contradiction. Suppose it's not necessary, then what?
  
   The Apostle Paul said: "Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God" (The American Stardard Bible, 1901).
  
   Suppose those who say that personal holiness isn't necessary are right, that constant falling into sin and struggling with oneself is the norm, that this can go on for a lifetime. Then, men who have sex with men can say: "And how are we worse than drunkards? -if we consider the above quote. - Well, yes, we admit, we're sinners, we struggle, but we can't overcome our flaw. Let's stand together at the liturgy, maybe even join the priesthood (personal holiness isn't necessary)? Well, a priest can get addicted to drinking (sinful)..."
  
   Obviously, this is absurd.
  
   So, personal holiness is mandatory for all Christians. You can be sinful (for example, a drunkard), but you must overcome this flaw. And this is possible. Because "My yoke is easy." "...Everyone born of God overcomes the world..."
  
   All of this can be achieved even in the world.
  
   Holiness consists of a person's own efforts (we must do everything that depends on us to clothe ourselves in wedding garments-see the Parable of the Wedding Banquet) and divine grace. God can save even a thief on the cross. In this, in my opinion, lies the difference between holiness and righteousness (only personal effort).
  
   At the same time, God cares not only about our inner purity but also about good deeds ("Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds").
  
   Why is this necessary? Don't listen to those who say it's unfashionable. Mentally dismiss psychologists, sexologists of all kinds who will convince you that sin is the norm.
  
   Keeping the commandments contributes to strength (remember, for example, the hero of the Battle of Kulikovo, Peresvet), health, and beauty (both inner and outer). Sin distances us from God.
  
   The ancient Germans, if we believe Caesar, generally didn't know women until the age of twenty (those interested can read about it in Commentaries on the Gallic War), and losing virginity earlier was considered shameful. Nothing, they became one of the most powerful nations.
  
   Humbling yourself, breaking your own pride, to gain true strength. That's the idea.
  
   "And what about Christ's words about the need to turn the other cheek?" someone will ask. Or about how it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God? They seem so difficult. How to protect yourself from evil people? One person, then, could subjugate the whole flock if no one defends themselves?
  
   The question is actually not simple. Let's start with the fact that if commandments exist, they must be followed, and no compromise is possible here.
  
   A just social order can help with this. A state where crime is minimized, there's no exploitation of man by man, work is mandatory, everyone is guaranteed a job in their profession, and public ownership of the means of production is introduced.
  
   The same law enforcement officer is obliged to protect a Christian if violence is committed against them. The state has the right to protect its citizens.
  
   And how often are you attacked on the street? When was the last time? For most, probably back in school. So, in fact, it's quite possible to live without fights, to try not to get into conflicts.
  
   An example of uncompromising adherence to the commandments is shown in the movie In Bruges: a scene where a gangster rethinks his life and refuses to fight another criminal.
  
   You might ask, isn't there a contradiction here? You mentioned various martial arts earlier. In my opinion, kickboxing training is somewhat different, as it's a sport, everything happens by mutual consent.
  
   Well, and there are situations where someone commits such an injustice that you can't help but intervene or respond physically. In extreme cases, ask God for forgiveness afterward. Of course, this is my subjective opinion.
  
   I recommend praying in the morning and evening ("Our Father"), confessing your sins to God every night before bed (when you list them, you better understand what you did wrong, what still needs to be corrected in your life), going to confession and to a priest, taking communion, observing at least the four major fasts, and trying to dedicate Sundays to God (preferably attending church).
  
   At the same time, I'm not calling for any schism. I myself calmly attend common services at an Orthodox church. A possible difference in views doesn't bother me.
  
   What to read?
  
   The New Testament, the Old Testament, The Ladder of Divine Ascent by John Climacus (considering the above, his views don't align with mine, but the book is interesting and useful), Sermon on Law and Grace by Metropolitan Hilarion, Instruction by Vladimir Monomakh.

On Useful Habits, Behavior Models and Character Traits

   Planning. Simplifies life, helps you become more efficient and organized. Get a daily planner (you can use an electronic one). Generally, in Christianity, the attitude toward it is ambiguous ("do not worry about tomorrow"), but every evening I make a plan for the next day. I plan in blocks ("morning" (exercise, cold shower, etc.), "reading"...).
  
   By the way, don't forget to include a rest block in your plan (it's mandatory).
  
   Self-discipline. A tip from The Two Captains by V. Kaverin: if you promise yourself something, be sure to do it. Of course, don't take it to absurdity (if you're wrong and someone proves it to you-have the courage to admit it and abandon a foolish idea).
  
   For some, strict self-discipline, following your own rules (by the way, establish them), and sticking to a plan feels like a lack of freedom. I, however, believe that a disorganized person is a slave to their bad habits, laziness, and lack of willpower. Only by submitting yourself to yourself (and first to God), understanding your true needs, do you become truly free.
  
   You can look at it dialectically. At first, there's no plan, you do what you want. Then you start developing organization-you get planners, reminders, read books on time management (but at the same time, you might still fail to complete tasks, miss deadlines, etc., while scrolling through articles online about how to overcome procrastination). Finally, self-discipline becomes a habit. And at this stage, you can even abandon the planner altogether (if you have a good memory). You find yourself in the middle of nowhere, without internet or gadgets, but you still do everything you need to: morning exercises, etc. That's true freedom as a conscious necessity (you do what you truly want).
  
   Have a moral core, don't bend when someone tries to pressure you. This refers to attempts to make you violate your own principles. Such a situation will inevitably arise in life (especially considering that we live in Russia). Paraphrasing A.I. Solzhenitsyn, let's say: even if the whole world lies in evil, even if evil covers everything, but in the small, we will resist-let evil not pass through me. I am responsible for my part. If everyone starts acting this way, the world will change for the better.
  
   Some will bend, but what will they gain in return? Well, they'll become rich, get a promotion, but they'll leave here with nothing, just as they came. 70 years (+/-) is a moment compared to eternity.
  
   From personal experience: when you resist and refuse to act dishonestly (or, conversely, attempt to restore justice even in a situation that's clearly a losing one for you), you usually win.
  
   Meditation as a way to deal with stress (another controversial point; just close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 10-30 minutes, no mantras; you don't have to do it every day, just occasionally).
  
   Purely subjective (in case someone finds it useful), learn to distinguish styles in clothing: casual, smart casual, smart. Find a book on style. I can recommend, for example, Details Men's Style Manual: The Ultimate Guide for Making Your Clothes Work for You by Daniel Peres and the editors of Details.
  
   Be reliable, keep your word.
  
   "Take care of your honor from a young age" (Pushkin, Alexander. The Captain's Daughter. Translated by Robert and Elizabeth Chandler. Penguin Classics, 2014).
  
   Learn to look at yourself from the outside.
  
   I've only listed what first came to mind.

On Bad Habits and Similar Things

   There are thousands of them. It's impossible to list them all.
  
   Here's the principle: everything is permissible for me, but nothing should control me. Well, within reason! Don't try excrement to find out what it tastes like. Especially if it causes a strong addiction. You can break free from anything, but sometimes it's very hard to do. Be sure to ask God for help.
  
   I can drink occasionally, but being an alcoholic-that's bad! You see on TV (or they used to show it) a group of cheerful young people with bottles of beer in their hands; you see a movie about a secret agent in great physical shape, but he consumes alcohol by the liter and smokes... You drink beer and think it's your desire. Is it really yours?
  
   Try not drinking and compare. I've tried both. Not drinking is cooler. When you're sober, you're smarter, stronger, and so on.
  
   The same goes for smoking. I'll say right away, I smoked for about a year. I quit. Yes, it was hard, without any Allen Carrs. My state and attitude toward cigarettes are the same as before (like in childhood). That's the right way to quit a habit. When you're counting the days-you're still under the power of a bad addiction, mentally holding onto it.
  
   A complete cleansing of "beastly" habits (watching pornography, masturbation, some sexual perversions, if they exist).
  
   You can give up anything. Don't listen to those who say it's impossible, who go to various anonymous alcoholic clubs their whole lives. Everything is possible!
  
   We use one of the laws of dialectics (the science of development): the transition of quantitative changes into qualitative ones. You missed one class in school, two-you're not a truant yet. But at some point, something clicks-and you are one. You join the group of underachievers. You can also transition in the opposite direction (and not instantly). And this applies to everything, including developing a habit (negative, positive)-and breaking free from it.
  
   In general, we truly acquire a habit (or break free from it), a quality, or establish a rule when it starts happening as if by itself, easily, and you no longer need to constantly put in effort or think about it. This is real, but behind it, as a rule, is hard work. Maybe not right away, but it will work out, you fall-you get up (you can't give up, you can't quit). "И будет тебе наградой цели заветной высь" (from the song by Yevgeny Karelov, film "Two Captains," 1976). But only with God's help. This is important, it comes first. You must pray to God to help you quit smoking or something else. God can do anything, He is omnipotent.
  
   Painful infatuation. Love is a beautiful feeling. But when you become psychologically dependent on someone, start being jealous of them, going crazy over them (unrequited love), suffering-that's wrong. Don't make an idol for yourself. Our life is just ripples on the water, here today, gone tomorrow. And remember the poet's words (for men): "The less we love a woman, the easier 'tis to be liked by her" (Nabokov, Vladimir. Eugene Onegin: A Novel in Verse by Aleksandr Pushkin. Translated with a Commentary by Vladimir Nabokov. Princeton University Press, 1975).
  
   Learn to hold your tongue, keep others' secrets. Never gossip about girls or your clients.
  
   Think not only of yourself, don't be selfish.
  
   And remember that pride is an abomination before God. Don't boast, let others praise you if there's something to praise. It seems L.N. Tolstoy wrote that a person can be compared to a fraction: in the numerator is what they really are, and in the denominator is what they think of themselves.

Conclusion

   Perhaps the most important thing to say here is this. Self-improvement is just the foundation for your activity (a Christian must do good deeds - faith through deeds). Remember Christ's words: "Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me". The cross here can be understood not only literally. The cross can also be your calling in life. That is, you must develop yourself ultimately for something, not be a candle under a bushel that shines only for itself.
  
   I hope the article has been useful to you. But think for yourself. I can also be wrong. Always question everything before making any life decision.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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