...my poetry 2000-2006...
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Again
Can`t stop my pain
Ashamed
I never be the same
In vein
To live this life in vein
Afraid
I feel my tears again
Won`t win this game
Black flame
Never can be tamed
Sorrow is my name
Death is came
And waiting for me
Going to the deep
Anymore I can`t screem
My dark and dead dream
Night mad and silent
My last sin
And I never win
Never be
In happiness
Rest
Death my only rest
Shelter in solitude
Blessed
Darkness want me bless
And dissolve in despair
Fear
And shadows only near
Can`t clear
Can`t open eyes
Won`t be glad
So lonely, so sad
I know, I too mad
To be alive
Chill
Won`t be hate and be feel
My frozen heart
Always be apart
Away
I always be afraid
This drama stop to play
And I fly away
From this dying world
No more faith to Lord
Alone in emptiness
Falling
I want to dying
I want to crying
And lost my mind
Hello, darkness...
I`m going to hell...
10.07.05
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chorus:
He is my misery
He is my sin
He is my fantasy
He is my spleen
He is a terrible dream
He is a death screem
He is a hellish fever
He on my mind forever
1.
I want to lose that`s all
Escape from myself and don`t return
I`m so tired to hear heart`s call
And my heart ready for the burn.
I`d like to forget him
And never remember
`Cause I feel so bad
My heart tremble, oh, tremble...
2.
But then I look into your eyes
I feel sweet pain
I`m longing feel it for million times
And I know to resist in vein, oh, in vein...
I look into your eyes and I fear
To kill this fragile feeling
`Cause my life will be too empty and clear
If this dream I`ll killing
3.
And I know, these feelings so wrong
But I don`t want to be such strong
I don`t want to live with dead soul
I rather to say myself: "I`m ready to fall"
I don`t care that around only missunderstood
`Cause this poison fire so good, oh, so good...
Yes, it`s so wrong, but your face like a seal on my heart
I`m glad `cause my heart will be torn apart...
03/02/04
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I see death in your eyes
I know there is my last sunrise
My life is killing me
My death is saving me
Му dead mind
Is constand blind
I feel cruelty of love
And that not enough
I know, I`ll drown in my tears
But he`s won`t hears
And my path is broken by love
No more I can see heaven above
My best place is not here
Won`t you leave me, my dear?
But I`ll keep your image into my soul
Don`t believe the heart can be like a stone
I`m prey of tender pain
But my dying not in vein
There is deaf lesson for your heart
You`ll be crying then we`ll be apart
14/06/04
******************************
I try to seek you so long
And about you this song
My thoughts now so far
My darling, where you are?
My heart for ages calls you
But you don`t hear me, it`s true...
Maybe, you seek me too
And you heart too cry "I calling you!"
Yes, without you I`m so coldly
And there is no one to warm me...
But I believe will come my day
I`ll find to you right way
I`ll see you between grey shadows
You`ll seems to me blur of bright colors
I`ll just look into your wonderful eyes
And after darkness will come sunrise
You`ll too learn me
You`ll smile me tenderly
Just hearts will understand all
No need a words for language of soul...
But now it`s only daydreams
And it`s all only seems...
My life without you so empty and cold
And maybe so cruel for lonely heart this world...
Again and again between solitude days move
I freezing without bonfire of love
If I can`t find you, find me, please...
Just I don`t want to freeze...
03/01/04
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I wanna be your mad mind
I wanna be your last night
I wanna be your mortal fight
I wanna be your terrible delight
I wanna be your heart
I wanna be your fate
I don`t wanna be apart
I don`t wanna be afraid
I`ll be smile in your eyes
I can see heaven above
I`ll be your beautiful sunrise
I just wanna be your love
I can be your shelter from rain
I can be your most tender pain
I can be your sweet fail
And you`ll understand - all not in vain
03/06/04
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I`m still staing here
This is my foolish fear
I`m burning in that flame
But I don`t want be the same
I live only my daydream
So long I`m waiting him
But I`m afraid tomorrow
And this is my big sorrow
To understand myself so difficult
Yes, these feelings no good
(To understand myself so hard
I crying, we`re still apart...)
Someday you`ll set me free
I`m only for you, you`ll see
He`ll makes me believe
These shadows will leave
I`m going to you
I`m waiting for you
But they disturb me
Makes me be creep
But I`ll learn to standing straght
Just I have my faith
I`m waiting for you, my sun
I know, darkness soon will be gone.
22/02/04
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I`m thinking of you again and again
And only you can stop my pain
I know, you are my beautiful hell
And my weak heart under your spell
Over and over you make me delight
Just I want to be by your side
My terrible illness is you
You killing my mind, it`s true
When I see you, I`m ready to die
My heart feels pain, I want to cry
But I know, you not for me
But I don`t want be set free
Why have came you into my life?
Why hurt you my heart like sharp knife?
But you don`t know me, don`t see my tears
And once to forget you - all my fears
This sweet poison in my blood
It`s killing myself - it`s no good
Deep inside in my head your wonderful voice
I thinking of you, I have no choice
But my life without you will empty
And no interesting be always in safety
Yes, you are my storm, my strong fever
And this misery I forget never...
23/02/04
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Бесконечные линии горизонта
Уходящие в перспективу
Лучи как спицы от зонта
Так же нелепо и так же красиво.
Две печати как чьи-то следы
Будто лунный свет на дороге