Пряхин Андрей Александрович : другие произведения.

Twelve Things Not To Do On A Plane

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By Andrew Alexandre Owie
TWELVE THINGS NOT TO DO ON A PLANE
What oughtn`t you to do on a plane?
If you don`t know, you gonna be explained:
Firstly, stop punching your fellow passengers
After receiving their partial messages.
Secondly, do not change smelly nappies
Because cabin crews hate flying with babies!
Thirdly, don`t put hummingbirds in your pants,
Or else sooner or later you are under arrest.
Hide children from a hostess in a plane loo.
She puts them in lockers to play peekaboo.
Your hubby is dead. Many problems to avoid,
Don`t try to pretend that he sleeps as android.
Did you really strap your pet to your belly?
Congratulations, tonight we shall see you on telly!
Don`t wee in your seat, don`t pee into a bottle,
He who spills on the floor, off the plane he`s escorted.
Don`t try to shut up screaming children with water.
If you`ve not been lynched, you`ll be later deported.
If you`ve mixed up a plane with a flight simulator,
Don`t pull open the emergency exit, it disturbs aviators.
Having sex on a plane in the air is cool,
Flight attendants keep hunting for such simple-hearted fools.
No smoking! Lighting up on the flights is forbidden,
But sometimes it takes place, though it isn`t forgiven.
If you can`t help himself, stewardesses are beautiful,
Be alert! On the job they`re under the constant scrutiny.

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