Шенгаут Михаил Владимирович: другие произведения.

Your Religion

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Поиск утраченного смысла. Загадка Лукоморья
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  What would you tell me, my Dear Reader, if I were to ask you, "What is your religion?" Would you start quoting me your Holy Book, the historical facts or legal ordinances? Then let me change my question. What makes you go on, gives meaning to the things you do and to the words you say, motivates you, constrains you, excites you and turns you on? You think it is too personal of a question? All right, let me be the first to answer it.
  
  I am sure, my Dear Reader, that you know what inspiration is. You know that state of mind and soul when your daily toil is suddenly elevated to the heights unthinkable previously, when "the light switch flips on", when you are able to do things you never thought you could. The mathematician gets inspired by suddenly seeing the mathematical connection he never saw before. The programmer gets inspired by seeing a particularly difficult program coming together. Even the night cleaner might get inspired by finding a way of doing his job twice as fast. Describing the inspiration to the one who has never experienced it is like describing the rainbow to the blind. You may say that when inspired, you want to work without stopping to eat or even to sleep. You may say that when inspired, the work stops being a burden and becomes as exciting as a date with someone special. But to understand the word "inspiration" the person must have been inspired at least once - otherwise your words only describe the symptoms and manifestations. However when he finally gets there - whether while playing the piano or sweeping the floors, he will know what you were talking about. And when you meet, you both will smile and he will tell you, "Now I know what you meant!" And both of you will know that it is so.
  
  I am sure, my Dear Reader, that you know what love is. You know that state of mind and soul, when your heart sings, when someone is more dear to you than yourself, when just being next to that person feels like the most comfortable and wonderful place in the world, when feeling the love of that special other is like the heating lamp from within, when the person becomes a part of you and being separated is as painful as losing an arm or a leg. But to understand the word "love" the other person must have been in love at least once - otherwise your words will only describe the symptoms and manifestations. Howevere when he finally finds his love and is loved in return, he will tell you, "Now I know what love is!" And both of you will know that it is so.
  
  And now, my Dear Reader, let me tell you about my religion. Do you know what I am talking about when I talk about the source of truth? Not just 2+2=4, but The Truth, The Source Of All Truths in the world, the undiluted experience of "the light switch flips on", the inspiration about the source of all inspirations? Do you know what I am talking about, when I talk about the source of love? Not the one soiled by cheap movies, but The Love, The Source Of All Love in the world warming your heart the way you always imagined and never hoped to experience, unconditional and all-encompassing, making you feel simultaneously blissful and humbled, because you know that you can never love back that way? Do you know what I am talking about when I talk about peace of mind? Not indifference or lack of emotions, but supreme confidence in the future caused by some strange support from within coming from that Source of Love and Truth, making you strongly conscious and aware that You (not Your Body, but You!) will go on and be victorious throughout whatever this world can throw at you - even Death? Have you ever come to realize that everything good in you comes from that Source of Love and Truth and that the most that you can do is to "shine with the reflected light", reflecting this goodness into the world with varying degrees of loss? And even becoming better cannot be done by you, but only by that Source of Love and Truth making changes from within your soul - and the most you can do is to ask for help and consent to it when it comes? Have you ever been convicted from within that something is so right and good that it ought to be done, no matter what the cost? Do you know what I mean when I talk about separation from that Source Of Love And Truth? Separation that comes when you reject its leading by choosing to do wrong, trying to deceive yourself or others that you do right whereas you know you are acting egotistically or hypocritically? Separation which feels like someone has turned off the light within you and in its place there is a cold, stark and empty darkness?
  
  If you don't know what I am talking about, no explanation will help. You may say, my Dear Reader, that it is all my emotions. I know what emotions are like. It is when you feel one thing now and another ten minutes later, depending on what you ate or how tired you are. But the perception of being loved by the Source of Love, of gauging right and wrong by The Source of Truth doesn't flip back and forth - it stays the same no matter what my miserable self feels at any given moment. It is not the emotions, but some state of mind and soul inspired by the contact with something so much "more", much bigger than me. It cannot be anything else but The God of All Creation Himself. This state of mind and soul, called "Faith", stirs something much higher than mere emotions or thoughts; it kindles The Spirit of my soul.
  
  If you know what I am talking here about, you know my religion. If you have experienced the things I talk about and trust them to be real, deem them to be the most treasured thing in your life, wish to follow the leading of the spirit no matter what the cost, then you and I are of the same religion. You may be Muslim, Christian, Jew or Hindu, you may believe in the world standing on three turtles, angels, reincarnation or the story about man spending three days in the whale's belly - I don't know much about those things. But I have experienced God and his Spirit in me. They drive my life by urging me to act instead of staying home and watching TV three hours a day. I have also seen that whenever I follow the urge of the spirit, only good things happen. And I have seen people from different religious backgrounds urged to do such good deeds together by the Spirit in their hearts. So, my Dear Reader, when we meet, I hope it will be when we are called from within our hearts to do something good together. You will look at me and say "The Spirit in you and in me come from the same God. Thus we are brothers". And we will smile. And both of us will know that it is so. 1998-2010
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