Once upon a time there lived an old man and his wife in a village. They lived in a little hut, barely making ends meet. Finally, there came such a high time when they had nothing left: no bread, no cattle. They finished all the crumbs - they had nothing to eat and there was nowhere to take. Then the old woman said:
"Hey, man, do what you want, but get at least some flour, - wherever you want! Otherwise, we will die!"
What had the old man to do? He went to the neighbouring town with empty pockets. He was walking and thinking:
"Well, I should do some trick, - to cheat a cunning merchant or to die from hunger!"
Then he came into the nearest store and said to its master:
"God help you, good man, could you sell me a sack of flour?"
"No problem. Give me your money," - replied the merchant.
"I have no money, but there is a huge fat bull in my yard. I can pay with meat," - said the old man.
"Oh, you say that you have a big fat bull? That's good! Take more than one bag, - take two bags! And when you slaughter the bull, bring me its back leg!"
The old man thanked the merchant, hired a cart, put two sacks of flour in it and went to another store. Having come in, he asked its master:
"Hey, kind man, sell me two sacks of flour!"
"Let's make a deal," - said the merchant. - "Are you going to pay in cash?"
"No, but I have a huge fat bull, it's time to slaughter the beast!"
"Oh, take then three bags! And when you kill your bull, bring me its back!"
The old man put three sacks of flour into his cart and went to the third store. The third merchant gave him five sacks of flour for a half of the bull.
"When you slaughter your bull, give me half of its meat," - he said.
Thus the old man brought home the whole cart of flour. He came into the house and shouted from the doorway:
"Hey, granny, accept the goods, bake bread, bake pies!"
The poor woman was surprised and felt happy. She kindled the firewood in a stove, baked pancakes and invited her husband to the table. The old man ate plenty of pancakes and then thought the matter over:
"How does it feel to be landed in prison? After all, the merchants will come here to call in debts!"
The old man had been casting about in his mind, but when he understood that his number has come up, he went to a judge. Here he came to the judge and said:
"Sir, I took some flour from merchants in debt and promised to pay with meat, when I slaughter my huge fat bull. But now I have changed my mind and don't want to give away the meat. Better we eat the meat ourselves. So, sir, could you be so kind, as to shield me before the merchants, if they come here with complaints!"
The judge thought, `Indeed, it would be better if we eat meat ourselves!' And he said:
"It will be difficult - to shield you, but possible, if you have got a big fat bull... You should pretend to be an utter fool. For all the questions, you should repeat the same thing, "Hey, wey, hotivey!"
...Enough time had passed while the merchants realized, that they could whistle for their meat. When it got to him, the first merchant rushed to the judge and filed a complaint. The judge summoned the old man to court.
"Did you take flour from this merchant in debt?" - asked the judge.
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - replied the poor man.
"Did you promise him to give meat for his flour?" - asked the judge.
"Hey, wey, hotivey!"
"But he is a fool!" - said the judge to the merchant. - "Who made you lend your property to this loony? Blame yourself and go home!"
Thus the first merchant went home empty-handed.
Then the second merchant came to the judge and made a complaint. The judge took the old man to court for a second time.
"Did you take flour from this merchant? - asked the judge.
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - replied the old man.
"Did you pay him for the flour?"
"Hey, wey, hotivey!"
"Oh yeah, he is a perfect fool," - said the judge to the merchant. - "Why did you lend your flour to such a softhead? Take it upon your own shoulders and go home. You will get nothing from him!"
So the second merchant did not get any change from the old man.
Then the third merchant came to the judge complaining about the trick. The judge invited the old man to court for a third time.
"Do you know this merchant?" - asked the judge.
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - replied the old man.
"Did you take flour from him in debt?"
"Hey, wey, hotivey!"
"Did you slaughter your bull?"
"Hey, wey, hotivey!"
"You see, good man, you got mixed up with an idiot? You were a fool to trust him!" - said the judge. - "There was no need to lend something to a madman."
"I had given him five bags of flour!" - shouted the merchant. - "If you are a judge, recover the debt from him!"
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - repeated the old man.
"You see," - said the judge, - "he is out of his mind. It is prohibited to judge the insane. Go home; you couldn't get anything from him!"
And the third merchant went home having gained nothing.
The judge then told the old man:
"Look at me, man, how witty I have duped all the merchants! Now go, cut your fat bull, and bring me its back!"
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - replied the old man.
"Enough for you to pretend that you are a fool, - there are no merchants here!" - shouted the judge.
"Hey, wey, hotivey," - replied the old man. "There are no merchants and no fools. And I have never had a bull!"
The old man bowed to the judge and went home to eat up his pancakes.
![The Old Man and the Judge [Славянский Владимир Владимирович]](/img/s/slawjanskij_wladimir_wladimirowich/theoldmanandthejudge/theoldmanandthejudge-1.jpg)