Тараканов Вова: другие произведения.

Воинские звания и их характеристики (англ)

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Конкурс фантрассказа Блэк-Джек-21
Поиск утраченного смысла. Загадка Лукоморья
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  • Аннотация:
    The military joke

  General:
  Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.
  Colonel:
  Leaps over short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, and talks to God.
  Lieutenant Colonel:
  Leaps over short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is as fast as a speeding b-b, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.
  Major:
  Barely clears Quonset huts, loses tug-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.
  Captain:
  Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a weapon without inflicting self-injury, can doggie-paddle, and talks to animals.
  First Lieutenant:
  Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.
  Second Lieutenant:
  Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "look at the choo-choo," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
  An NCO:
  Lifts building and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth (and chews them), and freezes water in a speeding glance. He IS God.
  
  
  
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