Your Mother wrote this to you just before you were born. May be I will write some more. For now this is how it goes...
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2 more weeks to go. May be less or may be more. In two weeks this big world is going to greet a new person. This person is you, my baby
Almost 9 months you are living and growing inside of me. Soon you will come into this world and I will welcome you, will love you and raise you to be a good and strong person. For now all I want is for you to be a healthy baby and be a good baby. I wish you will be happy and calm and let your parents sleep through the night. Wishful thinking, ha?
In September last year (2000) I decided that it is time to try to have a baby, a little miracle with a mix of English, Ukrainian, Polish, Lithuanian, Belorussian and Gipsy blood. Your Father did not have any objections. It took us a while and in March 2001 I had to go for some tests to check out my thyroid problem. I did not go. I found out I am expecting you and your life, health and proper development became more important than anything else I in the whole universe.
Your Father and I decided to keep you as a little secret until 3 months, but I could not wait to tell the world. I told my Mum, your Grandmother straight away. She was exctatic. But I waited to tell everybody else. I did not want anything or anyone to spoil it. I wanted to wait and see that you and I are strong enough to be together, to grow and become a tiny little person and its mummy.
In May we told both grandmothers that they are going to have a grandbaby. They were very happy for us. Your Gran Olga started giving advises straight away: "You can't do this and that". I basically had to get into bed and stay there in pillows and blankets and everybody would be dancing around me. No, darling, this did not happen. I love my mum and I listen to her (she had hard time when she had me and she was all alone with no help and nobody to turn too. I understand her overprotectivness. I am going to be a mummy too, you know). Although your father took on the shopping, I kept on working and going about life as usual.
You kept me very sickly for the first 3 months. I could not eat anything. Even the smell of food made me sick. All I ate were green apples, rye bread, lemons and porridge. Fun, ha. I lost a lot of weight though. So when you started growing, I did not grow much. You had enough space in my tummy as it was. People at work thought I was sick or crazy (they did not know that I was expecting you yet).
Then everything changed. I felt so much better. I was taking heaps of vitamins, so you would get everything you need to develop and grow. Everybody finally knew that we are expecting a baby. We were happy. I started going to antenatal clinic to check on you and me, to make sure that everything is well. I even went to Childbirth Education Classes. They tried to scare me off with videos of birth and all sorts of scary stories. They did not work on me. All I could think of was how much I want you and how much I love you. I did not worry about my pain.
On 21st June 2001 I saw you for the first time ever during ultrasound. At this stage you were very moving baby. I honestly do not remember when you first kicked me. All I remember it was a very tiny and gentle kick but it made me realise that you are very much real and big enough to make your presence noticed. On ultrasound screen we saw everything. I saw your little head, strong tiny bones and spine. I counted all your fingers and toes. I saw your cute little nose and lips. You even showed that you could suck on both your thumbs at once. But when I asked doctor who you are, boy or a girl, she could not say exactly. You were tossing and turning so much, she could not see. I was happy anyway. You are developing properly and are growing big and strong. You have very nice and strong heart and your head was 15 cm. As for the sex of you, your Father and I still called you Herbert.
At this time we started picking out a name for you. I wanted to name you Victoria (after my bestest Grandma) if you are to be a girl. As for a boy's name we sort of stopped on Cameron. So, at that time you were to be Victoria Iana (second name "patronymic" in Russian tradition) or Cameron Ian. Soon we changed our mind and picked Daniel, Lucas and many others. Your Dad kept telling me you are to be a girl. My mum said, "it's a boy". My Gran (from Riga) insisted it is a boy. I did not care really. All we wanted for you to be healthy and strong.
This not knowing created a bit of confusion when it came to shopping though. There were so many cute little things and I wanted to buy them all but I did not as I did not know what colour I need.
Your Gran went absolutely overexcited getting ready for you. She went through all baby shops imaginable. She looked and touched and asked and compared and looked again. Even before you were born she wanted only the best for you. She made you blankets and receiving blankets, a nice posh lacy thing and a little blanket for a pram. Everything was natural and proper. Finally she picked your pram, basinet, a bath and a car seat. She discussed everything with me but given that we were working and lived far from your Gran we could not just go to the shop and have a look so we trusted her judgement. Then she bought you a tiny green suit. Oh, Gosh you should have seen her. She was so proud and happy with her purchase. That's Grandmothers for you, darling.
So soon enough your mum packed her hospital bag and all of us prepared our bedroom, car and the house for your arrival.
Since you were about 5 months inside me I started talking to you in two languages (Russian and English) and reading you your Nursery Rhymes. You liked it very much. At least I thought so. You would go very quiet what I was talking or reading to you. Also you liked dancing and watching (listening) to my favourite TV series "Buffy" and "Angel".
Your mum was getting clumsier and clumsier. Plus I started getting silly and very touchy. I would cry at anything I see on TV or read in a book.
In the last months you would not let me rest at all. You were very active at nighttime and did not let me sleep. So I had to stop working two weeks earlier than planned. I was hoping to get some rest before your arrival. Oh, no. This did not happen. Every day people from work would call me and ask me all sorts of questions just when I start falling asleep. Plus the never-ending housework took a lot of time. But the last weeks I was really really tired all the time and could not do much.
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On 29th October I went to have CTG done. They put monitors on my tummy to listen to your heartbeat. For 15 minutes your Gran and I were listening to you. Your heart was going strong and you were moving quite a lot. Afterwards I asked the nurse to explain the results to me. She said that everything is working fine and you are healthy little baby.
As of 30th October 2001 I started counting days till your arrival. Doctors said you are due on the 6th November. So, you started giving mummy a hard time around 9.00pm on Tuesday 6th November (Melbourne Cup day). We went to hospital to make sure you are ok. All the measurements said you were and you started giving mummy tummy pains (contractions). Now is 7th November 2001 and time is 9.05 in the morning and my contractions are 15 minutes apart. Your Gran is on her way here to be with us. See you soon, my love.