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The Express sketch about Sweden, rest and Swedish-style buffet

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    The Express sketch about Sweden, rest and Swedish-style buffet

  The Express sketch about Sweden, rest and Swedish-style buffet
  
  
  The journalistess was on the radio-programme in high spirits.
  
  She managed to combine the vacations with a good professional job. She went to the Peninsula, rested (may be), and even prepared texts and photos that she posted on the website of the radio station.
  
  And now the radio aether! She, journalist, was invited as a guest to a radio program to talk about her vacation and her impressions.
  
  The radio program has started. The atmosphere of journalistic drive, own author's materials posted on the site, (maybe) light white envy of the colleagues-presenters - all this created a good mood.
  
  In the voice of the journalistess felt elation and energy.
  
  The journalistess was saying. Her thoughts were immersing in the experience of her rest.
  
  And the more she was immersed in these impressions and memories, the more she gained the ability to see herself from the side.
  
  Here she comes to the question of how much her vacation cost. The sum is called - and not small. The listener, however, is a little of unclear: it is for one person, or for several. (Maybe not all the details the listener has heard?)
  
  "But no!"- the listener assumes. - "Of course it's for a few! That it for the one or two weeks of holidays at the Peninsula of one million rubles were paid or more? Well, hardly ... so it's probably the amount paid for the several people."
  
  The journalistess approaches the question of nutrition. When paying, she was guided by the conditions of the hotel for public. And in these "conditions" it was said: "Swedish-style buffet". Everyone knows what a Swedish-style buffet is! This is an opportunity to choose what you want and how much you want - to achieve a state of satiety.
  
  At this stage of the story, both the journalist and the audience feel something difficult for perception, but familiar. This is the state of a person who has trusted and got into the uncomfortable networks of the experienced, qualified people.
  
  A few days after arrival, the "distribution" begins to operate. I mean, not the Swedish-style buffet. And the hotel employee gives a food by portions. The journalistess is not happy. She's protesting. She argues in legal terms: the phrase "violation of the terms of the offer" sounds. She goes to lunch equipped with the switched-on video camera of her mobile phone .
  
  "How familiar!"- the listener thinks.
  
  In general, rest with good spicy seasonings and the smell of spices.
  
  The journalistess does not mention this fact, but the listener guesses: she hinted or directly told the hotel administration that she is an employee of one of the capital's radio stations and prepares materials for publication.
  
  One way or another for her (as an exception) there is a compromise: you can approach the "distribution" several times and ASK for supplements... but those vacationers who come to lunch in the second turn, they are faced with the lack of a number of dishes. Protests and scandals begin...
  
  The radio presenters not want to tolerate. Well, you have to understand the place of public interest and the place of personal...
  
  They interrupt her story, a story increasingly filled with bitterness. They "include" the provincial Minister of tourism in conversation.
  
  "It's good!" - as the journalistess, so and the audience are thinking.
  
  "Well, what can she do? To run around with her switched-on phone camera? To tell at the radio-programme about her vacation, smeared mustard? The experienced throwaries weren't be influenced with these stories. The mood after vacations will not be corrected. The feeling of a looser, familiar to many, regardless of whether you are the "media" or you are not the "media", this feeling, gently was poured into the consciousness, will not disappear. The MINISTER is another matter. He'll take matters into his own hands! He will ask, which the hotel started doing magic tricks! He will show to everyone that people on vacation to "throw" is not allowed. He will explain to the scammers, throweries that it is better not to fulfill a small or large deception. And offer the scoundrels to COMPENSATE the journalistess (at least to her) a moral damage in a non-judicial manner. (And in court-is there a prospect?) "What amount of compensation will suit you?" "Somehow, I just even find it difficult to say!" "They will return you those hundreds (hundred) thousand of roubles, which you paid for the vacations. And they will be punished, and you will rest somewhere else without feeling yourself as a looser, without humiliation and headache." "Well, I agree!"
  
  Everyone is happy. In particular, the listeners. "It's the Minister! MINISTER!!!'
  
  However, the "connection" of the Minister gives absolutely other effect. First, the questions begin, which seem to the listener ... how to say it out, so as not to offend the high person?... "as manifestations the negative potential of intelligence".
  
  "You arrived by airplane?'
  
  "How it can be connected with the so-called Swedish-style buffet?" - thinks the journalistess. And with irony replies:"I had flied, using an automobile."
  
  Then something not interesting (if you use the correct terms) begins. The Minister talks about road construction,and other things. Of course, all these topics have the right to exist, but they have no connection with the journalistess' story.
  
  It quickly becomes clear that the Minister don't want (can not) neither to punish the throwary, nor to dispel the painful sensations.
  
  Attempts of the Minister to confuse the journalistess come to the end, however, without success. She's professional. In general, the Minister was disconnected.
  
  But the journalistess to continue her interesting story wasn't alowed. She on territory hotel any open sewer down the hatches photographed, in which children looked. Something about rusty pipes...
  
  In general, the radio presenter quickly "included" in the conversation of one of the deputies...
  
  He said some philosophical things. As always, there were "corruption", "theft" and other set of words. "Now send him to the distribution... to be ASKING for more food...'
  
  The deputy was disconnected.
  
  The journalistess felt that she would not be allowed to talk about her rest.
  
  Moved on to some more abstract things...
  
  There were interesting details that are not worth repeating, it is better to be careful.
  
  But here is an interesting circumstance. Not all residents of the Peninsula are pleased with the changes. Rest has become expensive, and wages have not grown very much ... Many go to Turkey for a holiday...
  
  The listener had a question: "What are these regulations? Why is there no direct and easy access to the sea and beaches for local residents? Yes, for all citizens, all the people not living in hotels?"
  
  But the radio-programme went on.
  
  In the voice of the journalistess the decline and disappointment were felt.
  
  Nothing lasts forever. The radio-programme has come to an end. The journalistess was also disconnected.
  
  "And that", - thought the listener, - "on the one hand, nothing new. You don't have to go to the Peninsula to get a standard set of sensations... but, on the other hand, fragments of an objective report! It's curiously, in any case!'
  
  
  July 19, 2018 09:27
  
  
  Translation from Russian into English: July 19, 2018 11:46. Владимир Владимирович Залесский 'Экспресс-скетч о Швеции, отдыхе и шведском столе'.
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